Hair Dye
by Ceolsige
Summary: FE7 . AU . The crazy people just flock to Rath. Not that that's a bad thing. After all, Wil is one of those people. RathWil, other pairings, cracktastic


A/N: Randomly felt like writing this last night, so I thought I'd share. metal goat and I came up with this cracktastic universe and most of the ideas going into this for it a while ago. It's weird, I'm warning you. Also, for the record, I don't know anything about salons, and I haven't got my hair dyed in one before, so excuse any errors on that part. This is mostly just for fun, though, so enjoy.

Implied couples: RathWil, LuciusRaven, PriscillaRaven, RebeccaLowen, LegaultHeath, SerraOswin, MatthewLeila, KarelGuy. You might have to squint to catch some of them.

* * *

Wil grinned as he watched Rath lazily click the remote from across the couch. The room would turn dark momentarily as the channels changed, only to light up again with a different color than before. The sound was disjointed, cutting off one sentence before turning into another. Something about picking apples, then about cell phones, a dating service, the news. Then the clicking stopped and Rath looked like he'd actually found something worth watching. His expression barely changed – he only lifted an eyebrow. 

Wil turned his head to look at the television, curious about what could've peaked the other's interest. He tilted his head in surprise when he saw a talk show – the kind with the most 'scandalous' (more like asinine) things anyone could think of. Definitely not the type of show Rath would watch.

"_So let me get this straight,"_ the talk show host said after an uproar from the crowd. _"You used to be a monk… and now you're a stripper?"_

"Well, I was training to become one, but one night I got a little drunk and found I had an affinity for pole dancing…"

Wil turned his head to give Rath a "why-the-hell-are-we-watching-this" look, and when he caught Rath's eye, the other man merely shook his head and gave a small sigh.

"I went to high school with him," Rath said. Wil stared, confused, or maybe a little dumbfounded. Rath nodded to the TV. "The blond one. Lucius. Or… Luscious, now, apparently."

Wil turned his head back to the television to see a red haired girl now yelling at the aforementioned monk-turned-stripper, something about how she was in love with her brother and how the monk-turned-stripper wasn't worthy of him. Wil burst out laughing.

"That's _awesome!_" Wil exclaimed, nearing tears from excessive laughter. "You know the _craziest_ people, Rath! For being so quiet all the time, you really mislead people with your lifestyle! I mean, seriously!"

Rath sighed again, though he smiled a little this time. "Can't help it," he lamented. "My jobs leads me to some… interesting people."

Wil laughed. "Yeah, well, I was one of those interesting people, so you should be thankful! Or at least, I _hope_ I was one of those interesting people." He eyed the other man suspiciously.

"… I wouldn't say interesting," Rath said, the small smile still on his face. "More like strange."

Wil grinned. Rath had said something like that to him when they first met.

-----

Wil had been working in a popular salon in the city – the same salon he was working in now – and it was a pretty crazy day. He assumed one of the local high schools was having the annual prom and all the rich girls with daddy's plastic just had to get their hair done at the most expensive place on this side of town.

Serra and Leila were up to their armpits in bratty teenagers, while Wil had the luxury of kicking back and checking inventory at his leisure, or maybe washing someone's hair, since the two had banned him from even coming near the scissors just a few weeks before. And while they'd both send him glares that could kill every time he sauntered by, they knew it was better he was handling the non-lethal equipment. Not that most would consider scissors lethal.

His friend Rebecca hadn't stopped by with her boyfriend Lowen either, which she often would. Visits from Rebecca were always amusing ones. Her boyfriend was one of the dorkiest guys Wil had ever met, and he was unnaturally nervous all the time, but he was rather cute. Often times when they visited, Rebecca would be wearing one her "I Heart Dorks" or "Geeks are Hot" T-shirts, and Lowen would be wearing a cardboard crown from Burger King. Oh yeah, those two were a match made in heaven. But without them, the day went slow for Wil, despite the amount of customers.

Wil was getting a bottle of mousse for Serra when he happened to catch a glance at the front of the salon. A tall man wearing baggy, ratty jeans and a brown T-shirt stood there awkwardly, looking completely lost in a sea of teenage girls. He had shaggy brown hair that stuck out from underneath a brown bandana.

After tossing the bottle halfway across the room and Serra just barely catching it, followed by the string of expletives, Wil had made his way towards the front and leaned over the counter, grinning.

"Hey there! Can I help you with something?" Wil had sang out, catching the other man by surprise. He hesitated, then nodded.

"I have an appointment…" he said quietly. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, clearly uncomfortable in this kind of environment. Wil mentally mused about how cute his awkwardness was. "To get my hair dyed. Under Rath."

"Ah, you're lucky," Wil grinned. "Dying hair doesn't require scissors. I can take you!"

Rath raised a brow at this odd and obvious comment, but Wil was too busy scribbling something in the appointment book in front of him to notice. Not that he would've cared anyways.

After a moment, Wil glanced up and gave Rath a toothy smile before grabbing his wrist – surprising Rath quite a lot – and leading him towards the back. He sat him in a chair in front of a sink and tied a black cloth around his neck, covering his clothes. Wil whisked off Rath's bandana and dropped it in the man's lap.

"'Kay, lean back!" Wil said cheerfully, and watched as Rath did what he was told. He smiled at the nervousness evident in the man's actions. "No offense or anything, but you don't really look like the type that comes to these types of places often."

"… I'm… not," Rath admitted, looking up at Wil with the prettiest green eyes. "… My friend recommended this place."

"Really? Who?" Wil asked as he turned away to select a bottle of shampoo from the shelf.

"His name's Legault," Rath answered, though any further conversation would have to wait, since the hard pressure of water from the nozzle Wil was holding drown out any and all sound for the next few minutes.

Once Wil had thoroughly cleaned Rath's hair and toweled it dry, he led Rath to another chair, and started the process of combing it.

"So, how do you know Legault?" Wil chirped when he thought the quiet was too unbearable. Most people that came there were happy to talk to Wil, which was one reason he loved his job so much. He loved to talk.

"I work with him," Rath stated simply. Okay, that conversation starter was a bust, Wil thought. This guy needed to learn to work with him, really.

"But… I thought Legault was a model," Wil said, ripping through a rather nasty tangle. Rath didn't even wince.

"He is."

"Does that mean you are too?"

Rath glanced up at the other with a blank look that could easily be translated as 'you've got to be kidding me.'

"What?" Wil exclaimed. "You look like you could be one! I didn't know!"

Rath's eyes shifted from Wil to the mirror image of himself in front of him. "I'm a photographer."

"Really? That's so cool!" Wil said, and then whirled Rath around in the salon chair, catching it and making it lurch rather violently when it had gone a full 360 degrees. He smiled at the older man. "So, what color will it be?"

After staring at Wil a moment like he was an absolute lunatic, Rath composed himself. "Green," he answered. "Dark green."

And so began the seemingly endless process of dying Rath's hair, with Wil chatting merrily the entire time, making conversation to loosen Rath's nerves, even making the man laugh a little, especially when Wil commented about how painting green dye on Rath's head made him feel like he was 5 years old again.

"Soooooo…" Wil drawled as he pulled a backwards chair up to Rath's seat while they waited for the dye to take to Rath's hair. He crossed his arms on the top of the chair and rested his head them. "Why'd you wanna dye your hair green? I mean, not that I think it's a bad choice, I actually think it's a pretty cool choice, you just don't really seem like the type who'd want to bother with dying your hair, you know? And your hair looked good brown, too."

Rath blinked and took to a moment to soak in the words, before simply shrugging. "I like green," he stated. Wil bobbed his head in agreement.

"I like blue, though I don't think I'd ever dye my hair that color. Leila and Serra both dyed their hair pink though. Ha, they're so busy today, but I can't really help them since I'm pretty inept with scissors and there was this whole styling gel incident… Anyways, I think they wanted to dye my hair pink too, probably since Legault got his dyed such a bright, girly color and is basically advertising his preference, or something. Not that he needs to, Heath gets so flustered every time Legault even looks at another guy. Do you know Heath? He's Legault's boyfriend, he comes in sometimes to get his hair dyed too. He gets his dyed green but he's got a white streak in it too, which sort of reminds me of a skunk or that one girl from Josie and the Pussycats…"

Wil stopped his ramble when he caught Rath staring at him incredulously. "What?" he asked.

"You're… strange," Rath muttered. Wil was taken aback by such an honest comment that he didn't know what to say.

For a moment.

"Is that a good strange, or a bad strange?" Wil asked with a grin. He earned a small smile from Rath.

"A good strange."

-----

Wil grinned across the couch at Rath. "Maybe I like being strange, ever think of that?" he asked. "And if I wasn't so strange, you probably wouldn't have asked me out, would you? Or kept calling me with problems dying your own hair?"

"That last one I really did have problems with," Rath admitted, sighing at the memory. He'd had green hands for a week. Wil snickered.

"Speaking of strange, we got an invitation in the mail today to Serra and Oswin's wedding," Rath said.

"Why is that strange? And don't even say the fourteen year difference, because if you've seen that girl around Oswin, you know she's completely head over heels and she's not in it for the money. I don't even think he's got that much anyways," Wil said, defensively.

"… I just meant Serra was strange."

Wil laughed. "I won't tell her you said that. For safety purposes, you know. I wonder how much longer it'll take Matthew and Leila to tie the knot? They've been dating for… forever, I think. Maybe longer."

Rath gave a lazy laugh and sat up, grabbing Wil's wrist and pulling him across the couch and onto his chest. Wil snuggled up to his love and breathed in the scent of him, smiling warmly and feeling very content with his life. Rath grabbed the remote again, clicking through channels and disjointing the sound and light from the television until he stopped again on a cops show, muttering about how the green-haired guy with the braid on the TV who was robbing some place was his cousin, and the crazy guy with him that had long brown hair was his lover.

Wil fell asleep on Rath's chest, giggling about how all the crazy people just flocked to Rath.


End file.
